Thoughts in the Hand-Tool Aisle

Upon entering Sears for the first time in a long time, the faded habit of navigating back to the section where all of the Craftsman goodies are, seemed to instinctively take over.  As was the case so many times in the past, I approached the area with no particular goal in mind, other than to surround myself in shiny instruments that extended the capabilities of these incredible hands that God had blessed me with and that my father had taught me how to use.  I would scan the shelves and racks inch by inch looking for that device that would give me the advantage in curing an ailing piece of machinery or structural component of a building.  There would always be something new or something that I had not needed in prior visits, but at that moment my growing capacities came to demand it.  The thrill of the purchase followed by the anticipation of what I was going to be able to accomplish with the device attached to my hand, was a priceless motivator.

Those feelings are gone.  I do see intriguing and interesting devices that I could have used in my past, but nothing in this area excites me anymore.  I am unsure why, and if this is a good or bad thing.  I didn't wake up one morning and decide to change what motivates me.  In fact this change had been so gradual that I had not even really validated it until now as I stood in the middle of the hand-tool isle of Sears contemplating why I had not been here for so long.  

I always had good grades in school and never had to study hard to make those good grades.  My mother always made sure that the homework was done and would help when there was an obstacle to be overcome.  Anything below a "B" or "80" meant a spanking at home and frankly it was well deserved as we all knew that perfect grades were easily within my range of capabilities.  A low grade was almost always due to a moment of laziness or some form of rebelliousness, neither of which was acceptable.  There were lessons learned early in life, that laziness has no place in physical or mental strengths and rebelliousness must be thought out carefully and properly directed for a positive affect.

Pulling my thoughts back out of the rebellion, I tried to pick out a specific event or decision, as gradual or discrete as it may have been, that put me on this different path.  I had good hands and work ethic.  I had a good logical brain with common sense.  Perhaps it was about 12 years ago when I begin to realize the importance of good and readily available resources.  Becoming part of the associations that I participate in had been a completely new and incredible addition to my "resume".  Even more importantly, they had been good for me by bringing out social and leadership abilities at a level that I did not even know was in me.  Amazing resources.

I wasn't arriving at any conclusions and my thoughts were beginning to drift and compare the awaking inside me due to the associations, to a similar awaking on the football field brought out by our high school football coach.  My thoughts were clearly becoming more random.

"Can I help you sir?"  An employee had seen me standing in the middle of the aisle in a daze.  I was certainly in deep thought and he had halted the drifting thoughts with his question.

"No thank you", I replied.  "I just needed a break from a massive project funding worksheet that I will be presenting tomorrow and decided to come here and walk around a bit".