Forward

I smell the smoke and feel the heat of the bridges burning behind me.  Perhaps I should have waited and gave myself more distance from my tried and true past.  After all, it is these very bridges that have kept me in life for many years now.  Can one really ever justify moving on when nothing is wrong with the here and now?  Is it fair to your past when all that was, is what has made you the person that you are?  Yet, all that was, is the source of the driving force that is urging you to move on.

The list of those who came before me is long.  It is with the greatest of respect for them and their accomplishments that I build on their achievements and learn from the expense and fallout of their errors.  To do nothing with what they have given me would be to provoke evolutionary suicide.  It is never finished.  There must always be the next "what if" or "what were they thinking".  Restless and inquisitive souls are some of the least understood and most criticized but yet they are the very souls that are needed to keep learning and evolution alive.

The Experiences Are Needed

The winter weeks leading up to Valentines day are usually accompanied by memories of struggles in past relationships and the things that were said or done as part of those relationships.  After February 14th 2002, Valentines day took on a much more robust meaning for me.  In fact, I would go so far as to propose the dedication of this day to all those who have fought so very hard, and succeeded, at getting out of bad relationships.  Not just any bad relationship but one that was so damaging that it would have killed, in one way or another, had it continued.  I would dedicate the day to all who had found the ability to gather any shreds of logic, common sense or minuscule pieces of will power still inside them, giving them just enough strength to make that final decision and see it through to the end.

There is certainly no shortage of clichés that are tossed around.  Far too often a cliché or generic comment is uttered out in a half-hearted attempt to show support or consolation for someone who may be ill or going through some tough times.  Sentiment is best expressed from the heart and is not something that requires effort when sincerely expressed.  When effort is needed, whatever "canned" words that can be thought of for the moment are used and therefore are not delivered with true feelings.  For example, it is easy to say, "forget about the past and move on" but is this cliche-ic comment a sincere comment that is coming from the heart and originating from a true concern for the well being of the individual or just something that someone felt obligated to say.

Regardless of how many times someone says to "forget about the past and move on", it would actually be irresponsible if we did forget about the past.  In fact we need all of those past memories regardless of how good or how hurtful they are.  We use those memories and experiences as a base for making future decisions.  The decisions will be better decisions because we have these memories and experiences available as part of our database for comparison.  The more memories and experiences that are in our past, the more successful and capable we should be at making good decisions and handling the many challenges that life throws our way.

Success is a journey, not a destination. - Arthur Ashe